Moderation: Virtue or Vice?

Upon turning 50 years old in 2002, I compiled a list of “50 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years” which included “Moderation is a great virtue when applied to working, talking, eating, playing, spending, or seeking pleasure, but a vice when applied to faith, passion, principles, loyalty, or love.”

Later that year I took early retirement and entered into pastoral service at a Wesleyan church in Oregon, where lowered income caused financial pressure. Within a year my wife Terri was diagnosed with advanced cancer and had surgery and chemo treatments, 3,000 miles from friends and family. Eventually she returned to good health; in 2008 we returned to the South to pastor a church in Seneca, SC. Terri got a job at Southern Wesleyan University, and I was asked to add a second church to my duties, so the financial pressure finally abated. Nearing the sixth anniversary of her initial cancer diagnosis (July 2, 2009), I decided to plan a special surprise celebration for her, to be held in our hometown in Alabama at a favorite restaurant.

The Sunday prior to the celebration I finished teaching a series based on the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. As I studied I was taken aback when I read the chapter on the final discipline of celebration, where Foster wrote that we too often base our celebrations on days that are artificial, not really worthy of significant celebration. He encourages his readers to celebrate important milestones in our lives. It fit perfectly with the upcoming celebration I had planned; for if any occasion was worth celebrating, it was one that was a milestone in her recovery from cancer.

Surprisingly, almost all of our friends and family were available to celebrate that night. The restaurant was not inexpensive, and I planned to give her six dozen roses (one dozen for each year she had survived), so it became clear that a lot of money would be involved. After seven years of frugal living this seemed a huge extravagance, and I reconsidered–after all, most of the people invited could easily afford to buy their own meal. But when we entered the restaurant and were greeted by the warm crowd of friends and family–some of whom we had rarely seen since moving away–it became clear that lesson number 10 was right there waiting to be confirmed. That is, it became a satisfying understanding that this was one of those times that cried out for immoderation, for splurging, for lavishing my love.

The cake expressed what I felt–“6 more years to love and be loved.” After I saw how much the celebration meant to Terri, I was very satisfied that the money I spent was not wasteful, but well spent. After all, John told us in 1 John 3:1 “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”

 “Moderation is . . . a vice when applied to . . . love.”

–Kerry A. Rainey serves as pastor at both Seneca Wesleyan Church in Seneca, SC, and Walhalla Wesleyan Church in Walhalla, SC.