I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. (Ps. 119:147)
After watching my mom relive her childhood trauma in another PTSD attack, I went into the woods and screamed at God. Why?! Why did he let that happen to my mom? Why was she still suffering all these years later?
God’s Word came to me, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Yeah, right. Tell that to my mom. Where were you while she was abused? “I can work all things for the good of those who love me.” But how can any good you bring out of this justify the horror that occurred?
Exhausted, I wept. I had only two choices: stay angry and let bitterness poison my life, or trust God’s Word that he would bring healing. That day, I chose hope.
The writer of this psalm experienced shame (119:6, 39), slander (119:23, 51, 69), depression (119:28, 82), and abuse (119:61, 78, 86–87, 161). Yet he continually chose hope. By meditating on God’s Word, he gained strength and wisdom to navigate a hostile environment.
My mom modeled choosing hope. Studying her Bible every morning gave her strength and courage to face her trauma. With the help of medical doctors and counselors, she found healing and now helps heal others.
What do you do when your world is crumbling? God often shakes up our world, but his Word also provides a way forward to a better place.
Against all odds, gain miraculous strength by placing hope in God’s Word.
Tamar Eisenmann and her husband are Wesleyan pastors from Michigan. She’s a Wesley Seminary doctoral student and a fan of Transformers, her kids, and Jesus.
© 2022 Wesleyan Publishing House. Reprinted from Light from the Word. Used by permission. Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®.
