Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. (Titus 1:8)

“It’s not fair!” were the words I uttered to a mentor one day after experiencing the pain of being betrayed by someone to whom my family had opened our home. Without sharing all the details, it soon became apparent that the unhealthy pattern I had been warned about from others at the beginning of our relationship soon began to show its ugly head toward the end of our visitor’s stay.

As an introvert whose home is a sanctuary of peace I return to after challenging ministry days, I began to find myself not wanting to go home and confront the conflict that was still unresolved. Although talking about what was wrong with a third party was easy, talking to our guest was not. I’m thankful that God revealed some things about my own character and how I deal with people when I feel betrayed or used. These lessons have been helpful for me ever since that experience.

Paul told Titus that leaders must be hospitable, self-controlled, and disciplined. I struggled with these attributes during my encounter with our guest, but soon realized that was why God allowed the conflict to happen. Not only did I need to pray for this person to find healthier ways to deal with pain, but I needed the conflict for God to expose my own hidden vices.

See more than other people’s blind spots; recognize your own.

Santes Beatty is director of multiethnic ministries for The Wesleyan Church.

© 2019 Wesleyan Publishing House. Reprinted from Light from the Word. Used by permission.