Dr. Virginia Holeman |
July 7, 2020 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
Ambiguous Loss The COVID-19 virus has changed the way we “do life” and “do church” so that we are simultaneously absent and present. In her book, Loss, Trauma, and Resilience, Pauline Boss writes: “This ambiguity between absence and...
Dr. Toddy Holeman |
June 9, 2020 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5
Creating Shared Meaning Relationships that last, especially in families and congregations, have a sense of shared meaning. Shared meaning is bounded by trustworthiness and commitment, built on a “you’ve got my back and I’ve got yours” attitude and grounded in...
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
April 14, 2020 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
Are you a “High Hoper”? All of us will face moments when we must exercise hope. Hope researchers observe that hope is active, not passive. “High hopers” exert whatever degree of control they have to reach that for which...
Dr. Toddy Holeman |
March 17, 2020 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5
Honor Each Other’s Life Dreams In strong and vibrant marriages, mates honor one another’s life dreams. Life dreams are much more than personal whims. Life dreams go to the core of your being and reflect an essential part of who God created you to be....
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
January 21, 2020 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
Emotional Rule of Life You may have heard of a Rule of Life, but have you ever considered creating an Emotional Rule of Life in 2020? Your typical Rule of Life represents spiritual growth commitments that you make after a...
Dr. Toddy Holeman |
December 18, 2019 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5
Five Keys to Good Conflict Management Relational conflict is an inevitable result of family life, including clergy families, but it can have positive effects in our relationships — provided it is managed well. Wise conflict management creates relationship...
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
October 24, 2019 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
With the holidays just around the corner, pastors enter one of their busiest seasons with the possible exception of Holy Week. From All Saints Day through to the inauguration of a New Year, pastors take up seasonal demands at a time...
Dr. Toddy Holeman |
September 25, 2019 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5
How many times in your intimate relationships have your best problem-solving skills failed? Your problem may not be poor implementation as much as it might be implementing the wrong strategy for managing certain types of conflicts. Relationship experts Drs....
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
July 2, 2019 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
Self-justification Do you own a yahbut? No, this is not a new designer-dog breed. It is a common mutt. Self-justification is a common human tendency. Psychology refers to the “yahbut” as self-justification. Think: “Yeah, but...
Dr. Toddy Holeman |
June 18, 2019 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5
Contempt is the corrosive acid in any relationship. Relationship experts, John and Julie Gottman, define contempt as verbal (e.g., name calling) and non-verbal communication (e.g., rolling your eyes at something your conversation partner says) that says, “You...
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
April 17, 2019 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5
Peacefulness through Prayer May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord. Psalm 104:34 This Lent I (Dr. Toddy Holeman) committed to engage in 20 minutes of centering prayer every day until Easter. Centering...
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
September 13, 2018 |
Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
What is a secret to strong relationships? In his book “The Relationship Cure,” relational researcher, John Gottman, suggests that we should be on the lookout for “bids for connection” and turn toward these bids whenever we can. What is a bid for connection? A...
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
July 31, 2018 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
Anxiety Have you noticed how often Scripture tells us to not fear or be anxious? This command makes sense when we are in the presence of divine visitations. However, you may find it more challenging to “fear not” in the presence of your daily struggles or an...
Dr. Virginia Holeman |
June 6, 2018 |
Blog Education & Clergy Development Thrive in 5 Thriving Clergy
Neuroscientists affirm that we are “wired for connection” from birth. Infant brains develop best when caretakers are in sync—attuned—with babies’ physical, emotional, and relational needs. Obviously, no caretaker is in sync 100 percent of the time; caregivers provide...
