I’ve worked in the church for well over a decade, but when I look around me, I still feel like a beginner. Maybe I always will. I work alongside several ministers (on our staff and in the pews) who’ve been in ministry for decades, and are aging into faith, hope and love.
When I observe the life of these chaplains, clergy and retired pastors, I’m amazed at what’s different about them: their giftedness, temperaments, experiences and styles of ministry are vastly different from one another, which feels like a real testament to God’s roster including all sorts of people.
But when I take a longer look at their lives, I’m also amazed at what’s similar about those who’ve led joyfully over decades. They’ve all stayed curious and playfully self-suspicious (taking their jobs seriously, but not themselves) and practiced vulnerable friendships. They’re all humble: willing to admit when they’re wrong and bear with others as companions on a journey. And crucially, they’ve all been purposeful about including things in their lives that bring joy.
Almost always, those elements of these pastors’ lives didn’t happen by accident, but by slow, intentional habit. As I’ve been observing others in ministry, I’m noticing a few rhythms that can help pastors and all of us in church life serve in joyfully-sustainable ways for the long haul.
Here are just five of the rhythms I’ve noticed joyfully-effective pastors engaging in their journeys:
Serving with God, not just for God
One challenging dimension of pastoral ministry is feeling like God’s employee or instrument rather than God’s friend.
We often pray, “Lord, use me.” It sounds noble, but it can subtly twist our posture toward God, so that we see ourselves only as tools, valuable when we’re performing properly.
Think of the best parent you know. They don’t want to “use” their children. They want to be with them, enjoy them, send them into the world with love. One thing I know for sure: God is at least as good a parent as we are.[1] God’s posture toward his children isn’t to “use us” as objects, but to build up, anoint, send us as much-loved children.
The pastors I know who have thrived in ministry have shifted their posture from working for God to working with God: shifting their prayers from “God, use me,” to “God, help me sense your love for me and for others.” This shift reframes ministry not as a relentless offering for God but as a companionship with God.[2]
Responsible to people, not for them
One of the surest ways to burn out is by carrying loads that don’t belong to you. Being responsible to people means showing up faithfully: keeping commitments, offering help, speaking truth, respecting dignity. Being responsible for people, though, means taking ownership of their feelings, decisions or growth — things that rightly belong to them and to God.
When you try to carry everything, you keep others from maturing and exhaust yourself in the process. Health boundaries allow for appropriate care, while also keeping the burden of responsibility on the person who’s meant to carry it.[3]
Waging peace in conflict
Every minister eventually faces conflict. In conflict, some of us avoid hard conversations, others of us move toward appeasement, minimization, defensiveness or building alliances against those who have a grievance with us. Those who serve faithfully for the long haul have found ways of waging peace: pursuing an intentional path toward forgiveness (which is nearly always possible) and reconciliation (which is sometimes possible).
Pastors who are joyfully leading after decades have become skilled in waging peace. One of my pastor friends recently told me, “This doesn’t mean you’ll like everyone or that they’ll like you.” Instead, it means choosing to treat them in accordance with the fruit of the Spirit.
Practicing sabbath (or “sablets”)
I informally surveyed some pastors years ago about the first words that come to mind when they think of sabbath. The most common phrase I heard was this: “Must be nice.”
For many in ministry, sabbath feels impossible. Partly because pastors work on weekends, and partly because of the struggle to admit that we are addicted to the feeling of being essential. Slowing down feels like admitting the world can function without you. Which, of course, is the point.
Those who intentionally cultivate joy have managed a purposeful rhythm of work and rest. Not everyone can manage a 24-hour sabbath; but most people could start with a “sablet” — a few hours of “pray and play.” Go for a walk in a new place, read for joy, color with your kids or simply sit quietly with God.
Sabbath at its heart is being present with God in ways that bring delight, not duty.
Practicing spiritual and emotional hygiene
A pastor in his 40s once told me, “Avoiding counseling is like avoiding a shower: you can do it for a while, but eventually you’ll start to stink, and the people closest to you will notice first. But eventually everyone will notice.” Ministry brings others’ pain and our own into close contact. Without regular practices of care, we risk carrying burdens that wear us down silently.
Spiritual and emotional hygiene might mean seeing a counselor, meeting with a spiritual director, or taking an annual retreat. It also means owning your mistakes, apologizing when you’ve hurt someone and staying open to growth. This kind of investment isn’t a sign of weakness. These are the habits that keep us healthy and trustworthy to help lift other people’s burdens.
The joy that sustains
At the end of the day, sustainable ministry isn’t derived from efficiency hacks but from a joyful center.
Nehemiah 8:10 reminds us that “the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Joy isn’t a “luxury product,” to be squeezed in after the real serious work of ministry: joy is a load-bearing part of ministry that gives us strength to keep going.
These rhythms won’t remove the weight of ministry. They will, though, anchor us in a cadence of life that allows us to bear a proper burden in Jesus’ fitting yoke (instead of the yokes we make for ourselves).[4]
But these are only a few practices. What others have you found helpful? I’d love it if you’d email me at ethan.linder@collegewes.com.
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Rev. Ethan Linder is the pastor of discipleship at College Wesleyan Church in Marion, Indiana, and contributing editor at The Wesleyan Church’s Education and Clergy Development Division.
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
[1] Matthew 7:11.
[2] For a great book on the topic, I’d recommend Skye Jethani’s “With.”
[3] For further exploration, I’d recommend Henry Cloud’s “Boundaries.”
[4] Matthew 11:28-30.
