Imagine an ultrasound picture of a precious baby. Or better yet, imagine holding that child in your hand while reading this Psalm (139):
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
It’s easy to believe all these words about the treasure of a fetus or the innocence of a small child. Why, though, is it so tough to have confidence in those verses about ourselves? God said He “knit” us together. He didn’t say he hammered us out with blunt force or mass produced us. He knit us; He took His time; He was purposeful with each stitch; He took care with us…with YOU. As we consider all the complexities of ourselves, we often will go immediately to our faults or how we compare to others. However, God sees a completely different picture. He is holding us in His hand – the beautiful creation He knit – satisfied with the wonderful, intricate, and delicate person He made. He is our Creator…He understands us.
I believe God confronted me with how well He knew me. In my spirit, I heard Him ask, “Amy, do you know when you are feeling good about yourself on certain days? You can walk into a room and turn on the charm, answer all the questions, and have lots of confidence?” I replied with a sheepish, “Yes,” wondering where He was going. He stated, “You are making it all about you.” Gulping, I sensed Him pressing on, “Do you know when you are feeling not-so-great about yourself on certain days? You walk into a room hoping to hide, try not to talk much or bring attention to yourself?” Again I replied, “Yes.” And again, He calmly said, “You are making it all about you.” In those moments of pruning, I realized He was right. Either way I was gravitating on a random day, I was choosing not to dwell on God Himself. If I’m going to have confidence, it had better be in Him and not my good hair day, thinking my clothes are fitting better, or whether I have something profound to contribute to the conversation. What would it look like if I walked into a room humble but confident in WHO made me and in that Creator’s declaration that I’m wonderful? I could let down my guard, completely be myself, and allow God to use me according to His original design for me.
This lesson has changed me. Of course, I definitely still have days when the enemy is all over my mind trying to get me to deny I’m a child of God. That’s when I know it’s time to read the next two verses and choose to claim them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.