Hotdogs and Gonggi
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
My Korean mother and Midwestern-raised father shaped our family into a beautiful patchwork of routines and cuisines. Climbing trees was just as fun as playing gonggi, and nothing was more delicious than hotdogs with rice. When my brother and I would sit on the floor doing homework, our mom would sit alongside us cutting fruit or studying English. It didn’t matter if we were playing sports or at some music recital; we could always hear our dad cheering us on.
I have been bi-vocational throughout my entire ministry experience. One would think my upbringing of melding traditions would have better equipped me to handle these dynamic communities. I quickly found out however, that I was immersed in cultures obsessed with labels and loyalties.
Early in ministry I struggled with these organizations wanting to fold my identity into their corporate models. I felt like I had to hold my calling tight to my chest as I navigated a minefield of expectations and operational needs. There was an underlying pressure that if I did not represent Jesus well; I would fail miserably as a pastor, soldier, worker, or friend. I must confess it took me too long to understand my identity rooted in the person of Jesus Christ was neither a compromise, nor so delicate that I had to shield it from those around me.
I think I went wrong in the beginning by assuming I had to first lay a groundwork of acceptance so “ministry” could take place. For example, in the Army I was a truck driver specializing in convoy security. I was often the only woman among dozens of men, and my job was to support combat units in which women could not (yet) be a part. I worked tirelessly to prove women could meet the standards physically and be competent in male-dominated fields. I thought to be an effective Christian I had to break such barriers. Immaturity fueled my belief that if others could accept me, they could better receive the Good News I was called to preach.
It’s not that my efforts were inherently wrong. I had my priorities in the wrong order. Too much time was spent thwacking in the brambles trying to clear out worldly thorns when my parents had already laid the foundations and trail work before me. In solidarity they raised my brother and I to put our faith in Jesus Christ. They valued work ethic, a love for learning, and praised character. From a young age my father taught me to read and understand the Scriptures. Some of my earliest memories included my mother taking me in the middle of the night to the Korean church so that I could hear other women praying aloud, as 24-hour vigils were the backbone of that congregation.
Those early days in ministry were not wasted as I realize the Holy Spirit had been leading me, not through minefields but in a dance of empathy, compassion, and humility. His Words to “Remain in me, as I remain in you” (John 15:4a) have been His beacon to my heart when life was muddled with loneliness, marginalization, and injustice. The fruits of such experiences were not bitterness, but a love for my Father and a desire to know what He is doing in the darkest places of my community. “You, LORD, are my lamp; the LORD turns my darkness into light.” (2 Samuel 22:29).
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Rev. Jessica Teegarden is an alumna of Wesley Seminary (MDiv, 2017) and a bivocational pastor serving in Grant County, Indiana. She is an assistant pastor at Hillside Wesleyan Church in Marion. Her 13 years of service in the Army which included two overseas deployments, has given her a passion for chaplain ministry. Chaplaincy has provided a joyful opportunity to serve members of the community with a Jesus kind of love.
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ISAAC
I want to introduce you to an organization that I discovered about 2 years ago —Innovative Space for Asian American Christianity (ISAAC) is equipping Asian American faith leaders to step into their God-given calling with courage and confidence, weaving together faith, culture, and justice, and making sure the stories of our faith get passed on to the next generation. They are building toward a more inclusive church and society, and Asian American women are leading the way.
Watch this short video, I think you’ll be as moved as I was.
EMPOWERED
This is a moment we have all been waiting for. We trust that the Holy Spirit will guide us as we navigate the changes ahead and we move forward, empowered by Him. Are you attending the 15th General Conference? Will the Colleagues in Ministry Memorial pass? Make sure to download the app, as it is the best way to stay engaged and up to date.
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Wesleyan Holiness Women Clergy has a long history of creating events for women exploring and living out their call to ministry and the ministry leaders who support them. E2026 was a unique opportunity for 650+ women clergy to connect with like-minded women spanning many denominations. Watch the main sessions and select workshops here: E2026 Main Sessions Playlist
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